I’m serious. I’d vote for him. I had heard his performance at the ESPYs was great, but man… I was laughing like a fool. The Celtics puppets were one of my faves. Where he has the Garnett puppet yelling, “Anything is possible!” Hehehe. I loved when he stuck his hand in Mario Chalmers face and said, “Is that so hard Memphis?” Oh and when he hugged Aaron Rodgers. *sigh* I could just relive that broadcast all night. Good times, good times. Oh oh oh… and at the end of the night, when the Celtics won the best team award and Ray said, “…another win in LA” and the crowd booed. That was sweet. Didn’t completely make up for having to stomach all those NY Giants awards *blech*, but it helped.

Oh NY Giants, how I hate thee. Let me count the ways. Here’s to hoping Jeremy Shockey has a great year for the Saints and the Giants go down in flames. I still like Eli Manning (it’s hard to hate on Opie Taylor) but the rest of that team of cocky a-holes can suck it.

Danica Patrick and Milka Duno. Sigh. Do you really have to have a girlie bitchfight on camera? Perpetuate the stereotype much? I think Danica needs to start putting up or shutting up. If she’s going to haul her overpaid, overhyped ass to other racer’s pit stalls, the least she could do is throw up punch. In this particular case though, she’s right about Duno being a pain in the ass on the track due to lack of talent. She’s like a construction cone and someday she’s going to hurt somebody. Still though, Danica should either take a swing or as Lebron would tell his own mama, “Sit yo ass down!”

I’m boycotting the Red Sox games until they come back home. I can’t be expected to watch games that start after 10pm. Sure, I’m up much later than that. But, that’s my time to watch trashy reality television shows on E! and I’m not changing my ways. Plus, they got swept in LA and I’m not wasting my time watching them lose on the road. Wow, Jed Lowry looks young. The call-ups always look like babies to me. Ok fine, I’m watching tonight’s game. Pre-game anyway. Dice-K’s on the mound. I doubt I’ll last, but I’ll give it a shot. Oh and Dear Manny — Grow the frack up and stop playing reindeer games with Sox management. Thanks babe. Love, me.

I watched the last 2 minutes of a WNBA game tonight. A total melee broke out. Candace Parker, Rick Mahorn, and two other players got ejected. It was good times. The commentators were yammering about how it was such an awful display and totally shaming the WNBA’s image etc… You know what’s a shame ladies? The fact that nobody gives a rat’s ass about the WNBA in the first place and the star players only earn about a fraction of what Celtics bench player, Gabe Pruitt made last year. That’s a shame.

Earlier tonight, I may have watched Game 6 of the NBA Finals again… It was sweet. I need to swap out that DVR w/the cable company peeps so I can get an HD DVR since I upgraded my TV and unfortunately, I can’t get the contents onto a writable DVD disc. So that means that all 20 hours of Celtics coverage (the games, parade through beantown, parade at red sox game, very special episodes of celtics now on nesn, etc..) will be gone forever. Such a tragedy. So, during my vacation, I’m planning to watch all of it at least two or three more times before I have to part with it. Sigh. Speaking of Celtics, Eddie House and Tony Allen got picked up for two more years. That’s cool. I’m still disappointed to lose the love of my life, James Posey, but I guess if he’s gone for good, I’m glad we aren’t losing anyone else.

Yesterday’s Red Sox game was fun. Bucketloads of homers will do that. Today’s game… not so much. Senor spandex really owes Dustin Pedroia a lobster dinner for catching that ball to save the 2-1 victory. Sigh.

Patrick O’Bryant is now a Celtic. Still waiting for word about senor manhug. I discovered some sad sad news today. Gino is dead. Long live Gino!

This bullshrimp (yes, I’m trying to curb the profanity, lol) really annoys the bejesus out of me:

“I still like the kid and still think he can play for us,” Smith said of Redick. “As I’ve said before he’s not the first guy in the history of basketball whose career has gotten off to a slow start. And he’s not the first guy who has played four years of college basketball and struggled to get on the floor. Please write this: ‘I like J.J. Redick.’ “

Oh yeah, you like him all right. You like him enough to not play him for 2 years. I’m so sick of hearing that he’s not good enough to play. Believe me, if he wasn’t good enough to play, he wouldn’t be in the NBA. He wouldn’t have been drafted. Certainly not in the lottery. At the very least, if he was so inept, he would’ve been sent to the DL or overseas for improvement. NBA teams don’t just draft a guy at the 11th spot and then happily pay them millions to sit and watch games. Oh wait, I guess maybe they do. But, it isn’t because he can’t play. It’s because they threw a fat contract at a 5′2″ point guard. In which case, fine, TRADE HIM.

For the love of Coach K, Dick Vitale, Christian Laettner and all that are holy and wise, trade him! Stop the insanity!

From Boston.com: During a pitching change in the Sox-Twins game yesterday at Fenway, Manny Ramirez climbed into the Green Monster and could be seen talking on a cell phone.

Sometimes, there are no words.

ps. I love that Boston.com has a photo gallery called “Manny being Manny moments” — haha.
pps. It’s a pretty extensive gallery.

I apparently missed an epic Red Sox game today. Thank goodness NESN is re-airing it tonight. It is a little weird though, watching a game that you know the outcome of already. I’m suffering from a serious lack of suspense here. I’m happy to suffer though, since it means I already know they score 18 fracking runs!

I don’t know if I addressed it in my About page ramblings, but I like to wink a lot. Like an annoying amount. Practically everything I write online, I feel the need to accompany with a wink. Nothing to be alarmed about.  Feel free to ignore them.   

In NBA free agency news, Elton Brand is heading to Philly, Corey Maggette to Golden State and apparently Michael Peitrus is heading to Orlando. Wait. What? Wha wha what? This means the Orlando fracking Tragic Magic have SIX shooting guards. They already had four (Maurice Evans - starter, Keith Bogans, Keyon Dooling, and J.J. Redick - backups). Then they drafted Courtney Lee in the first round. Now, they’re spending almost their entire mid-level exception on Michael Pietrus from GSW. They must have a trade or two up their sleeves because they’re desperate for a starting backup point guard and also really need a solid power forward. Still though. SIX shooting guards. Sweet mother of god.

Holy hell, it’s hot up in this bitch. This bitch being New England. I’m sure other parts of the country are much hotter, but I only care about me obviously.

My day today started out super. The darling counter chick at Dunkin Donuts bitched me out because she got my order wrong. Yes, it was all MY fault she couldn’t wrap her mind around the difference between an ice coffee and a regular coffee on a 90+ degree day. It was clearly way out of line for me to expect her to correct it. I might’ve screamed “f–k you and your mother too” as I was peeling away from the drive-thru window. Homie don’t play on a sunny day, yo. <– I clearly missed my calling as a gangsta rapper.  I haven’t heard a rhyme this tight since…

The Red Sox managed to win a close one last night. Papelbon actually saved a game too. I’m thinking streak. Let’s do it! Hopefully the Rays continue to lose too. That would be most helpful. My theory on them is that they’re shooting their wad right now and will be burned out by the time we get to the playoffs. Well, that’s the plan on my end anyway. I didn’t actually watch last night’s game until the final inning. I have an attention span problem when it comes to baseball unless I really force myself to watch from beginning to end… oh and speaking of attention span problems, what’s this I hear about Manny not swinging at pitches during the game? What hell, you say? I prefer to think he was just daydreaming about ponies and forgot he was at the plate.

For the love of the kabbalah red string and all that is holy, would the braintrust at ESPN and all their various talking heads please PLEASE please stop qualifying themselves every time they want to say anything about Stray A-Rod. I’m so sick of hearing them tap dance around the fact that they’re reporting on gossip. They should either shut the frack up and not talk about it – if it really pains them so much — or they should just talk about it and not worry about how it makes them look. Personally, I don’t see ESPN as a bastion of impartiality in the first place, so what difference does it make?

Dear Brett Favre - MAKE UP YOUR FRACKING MIND! Thank you and good day sir. I said good day!

Soooo, we beat the Yankees 2 games in a row. Yay and all that, but then today… wtf? I’m greedy and I wanted a sweep. Also, how many times are you allowed to hit Manny in one game before somebody at least gets a warning? Manny didn’t seem to care, but I was screaming expletives that would’ve made my mom blush if she hadn’t been screaming them too.

Oh and funny story.. We were driving today, coming back from getting ice cream, and we come up behind a mini-van with the Yankees symbol on the back and in unison we both went, “Ewwwww!” and then laughed. Then she told me to ram them or at least run them off the road. I think she was kidding.  That’s about all I can say about the Yankees though, since two of my best friends are card-carrying Yankees fans. I try to keep my hatred to a dull roar for their sake. Gosh… I am SUCH a good friend.

I watched the Boston Pops Fireworks extravaganza thing last night on the tube. Was it just me or was there a mushroom cloud of smoke in the sky the whole time? Maybe it was just the LCD tv. I finally got with the times and bought a big wide LCD tv. I probably should’ve saved a few more thousand and gone with plasma. LCD only looks good when you’re staring straight at it. I’m often lazily reclining so the picture ends up looking dark. I guess the solution is to stop being lazy and sit up and watch… But, nah.

Now that the game is over, I’m planning to watch the Law & Order: Criminal Intent marathon on USA until my eyes go crossed. Happy 4th of July weekend to all!

I shall commence yammering… don’t mind me.

Madonna & A-Rod rumor - What’s so weird about it? If it’s true, it means they can get couples mani/pedis together.

Brett Favre unretirement rumor - Aaron Rogers will kill him in his sleep. No, really.

Baron Davis to the Clippers - A shorter trip for his celebrity fanclub. Works for me.

Watched the Tila Tequila finale last night. Wow. I’m SHOCKED. Absolutely SHOCKED that Tila didn’t end up finding her one true love. Whatever will she do? Hmmm…

1-Sign up at Match.com?
2-Try being single for awhile?
3-Continue to degrade herself and others for entertainment purposes by filming a 3rd season of “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila”? (Hint: It’s this one.)

Son of a bratwurst, I thought of all these things I wanted to blog about today on my ride home from work (I have an hour commute and it keeps me from flipping off all the tools who fly by me yapping on their cell phones with one hand and smoking cigarrettes with the other — hey, who needs hands to drive? Not them, apparently!) and now I’ve pretty much forgotten all of it. Oh wait, now I remember… one of the things anyway.

Can I call an end to ESPN subbing in professional athletes to fill in for Mike Golic this week on Mike & Mike? I had no idea how much I truly despised Osi Umenurabastard until today. What a cocky monkeynut. Ok fine, I’m still bitter about the Superbowl, but damn… I wanted to fist fight him over pretty much every statement coming out of his mouth. He’d kill me of course, but that’s neither here nor there in a fictional fist fight. In a fictional fist fight, maybe I kick his ass.  It’s nice to finally have an NFL team to hate. I really want to hate the Colts, but they just aren’t that hateable. Even the Cowboys haven’t stepped up far enough to draw my ire yet. The Giants however, they’ve finally earned my eternal loathing.

Red Sox are playing right now. Wakefield is pitching. I’m not gonna lie, I don’t have a great feeling about it. I hate road games. Fenway is so much more fun. The familiarity of the park is better and of course the fans are wayyyyy better.  Cora just screwed up a routine play and then Cash missed a throw so the Rays draw first blood. Maybe if I switch the channel they’ll start playing better. The WNBA is on ESPN2. Ah, so that’s where Ivory Latta ended up.

I can’t wait to see where all the NBA free agents land. I heard that the Celtics offered contracts to both Posey and Maggette. Interesting. I love James Posey. Love love love him. I hope he stays, but I have a feeling he’s heading to warmer pastures. I think he really missed Miami this season even though he won a championship in Boston. I wouldn’t be shocked if he ends up somewhere where the sun shines a lot more. We’ll see.